My former KU classmate, Arthur Hur, however told me how to get the old layout back. It's easy, and took me about 30 seconds. Here's how:
Go to:
http://www.new.facebook.co
The only problem is, Facebook automatically takes you to the new layout when you log in. To keep the old layout, I entered the second URL, then put it as one of my favorites. Bam. Old Facebook is back. Huzzah!
EDIT: Facebook figured it out. Dammit.