How college is different than grad school

CollegeHumor had a funny take on what freshmen should expect from college, based on National Lampoon. Here it is:

• The president of the student government will have actual power.

• Famous bands will often show up and play at random house parties.

• The dean is evil, as is his wormy assistant.

• There's a black guy. One black guy. And guess what? He's your buddy.

• Failing a class has absolutely no consequences.

• Your dorm room will have the following amenities: a private bedroom, a balcony, a hot tub, naked women and enough room to move around.

• An Indian kid with a funny accent will make your acquaintance and, eventually, help you out of a jam.

• You'll never see, or hear from, your parents. The same goes for your friends from home.

• Your roommate's younger sister will be super hot, totally into you, but way off limits.

• RA? What RA? Feel free to spark up that huge bong sitting in plain sight on your coffee table!

• One frat on campus will be exclusively for rich assholes, all of whom hate you and your ragamuffin friends.

• The only girl you really like will be dating either the captain of the football team, a staunch young republican or the president of the above mentioned fraternity.

• At some point you're going to have make a grand gesture in front of the entire school to save your frat and win back the heart of the girl who has mistaken you for an asshole thanks to a series of comic mishaps.

• You'll win in the end. And then there will be a big party.

Pretty good, eh? If I had to compare that to grad school, it would go something like this:

• You'll move into an off-campus apartment complex that is devoid of human life. You are the oldest person in said apartment complex and your neighbors are giant stoners.
• You'll go to your first class dreading that you're the oldest person in said class. You are.
• You will have a great desire your first weekend to relive undergrad by getting stinkin' drunk, but are too tired to go out.
• You will go out the next night, but get lost walking to the bar. By the time you get to said bar, your friends have left.
• You actually only have one friend.
• You were at first excited to return to COLLEGE! because you recall girls being really cute. Then you realize you are 27 (remember, you're the oldest dude in class?!). You see girls wearing short-shorts and dressed sloppily and wonder what their mothers would say.
• You can't believe all those dudes have popped collars.
• You actually do homework!
  

Weird. National Lampoon's Grad School would probably not do very well.

GRAD SCHOOL!

FOX has a case of the D'ohs

The human torch was denied a bank loan.

This burrito is delicious. But it. Is. Filling.

FOX's foray into reality journalism is officially a flop. It's cancelled the show "Anchorwoman" after one episode. The show, which featured a hot model attempting to become a news anchor drew a pitiful 2.7 million in its debut on Wednesday. I was one of those 2.7 million.

The show was lambasted by the Mo Ryan of the Chicago Tribune, but I didn't think it was that bad. Lauren Jones, the blonde bombshell, who made waves at Tyler, Texas's KYTX came in and ruffled feather of established journalists there and I think made a point about the value of good journalism.

The show could have shown viewers that journalism is NOT something that the regular Joe can do and succeed at. It's something that's learned and something that requires passion. In the age of YouTube and blogs (ahem), "Anchorwoman" pitted the many against the few. And it showed that TV is indeed a ratings game. According to the program WTYX had sinking ratings, so it decided to engage America in this experiment, which fell on its face. I wonder how the stations ratings did in the time Jones was employed.

Journalism isn't a game. It's an essential part of our society and too often decried by the public for its supposed biases and it suffers from an unfair financial crunch. Journalists, I think, hold a special place in society and the lack of responsible journalism is a failure.

Why is it that policitians or logisticians or empty-headed celebutantes are worth more than journalists or teachers? Who is doing more to inform, educate and celebrate the average American? In a perfect world the she-won't-be-named's would have a status that pales in comparison to those who inform. Or those that build cars. Or those that fix shoes. It'll never happen, but I'm not getting into this business to get rich. I'm doing because I have to. Because the United States deserves good journalism.

Tomorrow: some cool updates about my story and j-school. Woohoo!

Reuters has a case of the D'ohs

Reuters’ face is red as it was recently uncovered that the news agency accidentally substituted footage of Russian submersibles in the North Sea with footage used in the blockbuster film, “Titanic.” D’oh.